The greatest earthly blessings a man can have, a loving wife, children, careers and friendships, can bring the greatest joy. But they can also come with challenges, responsibilities, and at times, conflict, pressure and stress. That along with what the world and the enemy throws at us can quickly turn a good day sour. The pressure reaches a critical point and even the best of us may come to the end of our patience and self-control. It’s a powder keg waiting for even the slightest spark and then Boom! Things come flying out of our mouths, that we later regret.
Once I explain my day they will understand, right?
Who wouldn’t have a short fuse after all that, right?
But everyone has a bad day, right?
And they are only words, right?
They don’t do any real or lasting damage do they?
The Apostle James doesn’t mince words on this topic: the tongue is a fire, “an un-restrainable evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8).
Jesus said you’ll give account for every careless word on judgment day—your words justify you or condemn you (Matthew 12:36-37).
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).
The weapon you have in your mouth, and use every day, has the power to build up, or destroy lives, including your own.
Out of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34). If your words are cutting people down, that’s a heart problem before it’s a mouth problem. Here’s the deeper issue: you can’t white-knuckle this on your own. Our flesh is weak and has limits, but God has no limits. No man has ever tamed it on his own so without calling on the Holy Spirit living in us to help when struggling, it can become impossible to hold your wrath inside.
Try this. Take a minute before you speak, and use it to call upon the Holy Spirit to strengthen you, to soften your heart, to calm your mind. Give the problem to Him to solve, and then plan what will come out of your mouth next. If it’s something you think will hurt or demean who you are talking to, don’t say it. Ask for a moment to pray, and work it out with God before you say anything or you will only make things worse.
A soft answer turns away wrath; harsh words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1). Guard what comes out—it protects your own soul as much as anyone else’s (Proverbs 21:23). Let no corrupt word come out of your mouth, but only what builds others up (Ephesians 4:29).
Speak truth to your wife using words that build her up, not tear her down. Inspire her to act with love by your example. Correct your kids without crushing them. Encourage the man next to you instead of competing with him. A well-timed word is worth more than you know (Proverbs 15:23).
And here’s the contradiction that should stop you cold—the same mouth that blesses God at church curses a man made in His image an hour later. “These things ought not to be so” (James 3:10).
You carry fire in your mouth, brother. Use it to light the way, not burn the house down.
