It’s been almost a year since our four kids enrolled in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Their master is a 6th degree black belt and nine time world champion, a Christian, and he runs an incredible gym. All of his coaches know the sport but they also know people and kids and the values we teach our kids are shared by them. Our kids train four days a week and if it were up to them, it would be more often than that. Training there has taught them fighting skills and mindset, but it’s also given them confidence in a posture of humility. They don’t fight or compete at home, that is saved for the mat. When they get dominated, I ask them what they learned for it’s in defeat or hard times that we learn the most I believe so while they don’t set a goal to lose, they are learning to accept it as a blessing and be thankful. We teach them to not cut corners and to take responsibility. For their consistency and hard work they all earned their second red stripe last week.
Belts and stripes are great, but this sport is constantly challenging them physically and mentally, and proving the value of their faith and Christian beliefs and the difference between leaders and followers, strength and weakness, and ultimately, right and wrong.
A couple weeks ago some kids were having a pillow fight in the playroom and the pillows broke and there was a huge mess. Two of my kids were not involved, just watching. One walked away and the other stood and watched. The one that stood and watched got blamed along with the kids that had made the mess and were given consequences. They had to do 20 pushups in front of the rest of the class before training started. My child felt it was unfair as she was not actively involved. I asked her if she had stepped up as a leader and asked the other kids to stop. Her answer was no. I explained that our kids don’t follow the pack, they are meant to lead, and the opportunity to do so had been presented and was lost by inaction. That hit home.
When it was time to do pushups I was there to watch. She was the only girl in the group and none of the coaches were counting pushups. But I was. The other kids noticed the coaches were working from the honor system and not counting. It was the instigator that got up first and left the mat despite not finishing all 20. The others followed suit. Our daughter was the only one left on the mat doing pushups. She stayed there until she had finished every single pushup, chest to floor and no cheating. She made that choice on her own based on what she believes about herself and who she wants to be, and how integrity matters to God.
I was so incredibly proud of her. She felt good about her decision. She has dominated every one of those boys in training, but now she also saw a character weakness in them in taking the shortcut. In that one incident she learned the truth about leadership, weakness and strength, and she saw the wisdom in choosing to stand alone for what is right, and walk in the light, grace, and strength of God.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
