I carry a gun for a living, and I instruct others who carry a gun for a living. I clean my guns at home, do dry-fire training at home, pack my guns for the range at home, and put on my gun for work at home. My kids are also at home, so they are very familiar with guns. I taught them to understand and respect guns, and they know what can happen when guns are in the hands of someone who is unfamiliar or irresponsible with guns. They are similarly educated about knives, scissors, boiling water, fire, electricity, driving a vehicle, and other potential hazards they often encounter.
For those unfamiliar with guns, the ammunition I use for work or personal protection is different than the ammunition I use to train with on the range. So when I go to the range, which is often, I unload the duty ammunition from the magazines and store it away until I get home afterwards. When I get home, I clean my guns and reload the magazines with duty ammunition so they are ready for work.
Our kids watch this process, and now that they are old enough, I let them help with cleaning and reloading magazines. They always want to do whatever Ana or I are doing, wear whatever we wear, say whatever we say, and generally be like us. I encourage them learning from us rather than from TV, the internet, or others, so I say yes as much as possible.
I must admit that I felt very flattered until I set my big fat ego aside and let reality sink in. I realized that my kids wanting to be like me was not a compliment; it was a wakeup call. Every living creature learns by example; it’s a reality and not a compliment. And they don’t just learn the very best of our behaviors and traits; they learn what is there, whether it’s good or bad.
I stopped grinning and patting myself on the back and picked up my Bible. I realized that I am responsible for every bit of wisdom, knowledge, opinion, and every other example that I pass on to my kids. I turned to the Book of Luke and a verse I had studied in one of the Ministry Studies courses I had taken.
“Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.”
Luke 12:48 NKJV
The Apostle Luke was writing to Theophilus, emphasizing the responsibility that comes with knowledge and privilege. In my case, I interpret that to include, especially, the responsibility that comes with teaching my children and, effectively, shaping their lives.
God is perfect, and Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all manifestations of God. God’s word is the Bible, Jesus was the human manifestation of God, and the Holy Spirit is God who lives within us. I realized if I am going to get it right with my kids, I can only do that by holding myself and all I do up to God and His word to ensure my walk, and all that resides in my heart, is in line with what God teaches.
When I realized I had not been raising my kids with sufficient intention, I started reading my Bible again every day. I went back to praying daily, as often as possible, and especially when it was hardest to do. For instance, when I am frustrated, annoyed, angry, tired, and out of patience, and when I feel justified in judging people or giving them a piece of my mind.
And I include my kids on that list as they test those emotions more than anyone. They are kids and they are learning life. And I realize I am doing the same thing as they are, I am just a little further down the road. So I need to give them and others the grace that God gives me.
Ana and I are their teachers. This is our job, and what an incredible honor. I need to pray first before doing or saying anything else during those emotional times when I am feeling furthest from what God teaches and what Jesus showed us by His example.
My kids will continue to load magazines for me; there is no sin in that. But when I see them doing things I know are not right, before I look to correct them, I will start with a prayer, then examine myself to see if the problem is with the teacher first, before I criticize my precious students. I will look to God to guide me always through His written word and in prayer.
And because of God, I will teach my kids, and others with the same love, patience, and firmness He exercises when teaching me.
