Marriage is a thing like getting a puppy or buying a boat. If you want it to make you happy and give you years of joy, it requires constant care and maintenance. We call it “work” when we talk about maintaining a marriage, but maybe a better approach, for something we wanted so badly at one point, would be to think of it as caring for, building, or even enjoying our marriage. A bad marriage can destroy lives. A well-maintained one can be a beacon of light to the world, and the generations that come after you, not to mention, be the most gratifying endeavor one could embark upon in life.
Ana and I spend a great deal of time caring for our marriage because number one, we promised we would when we took our vows and because so much happiness, security, love, and goodness pours into our lives when we do.
Love, because it is a gift, is best measured by the one receiving it than the one giving. So I regularly ask Ana if I am hitting the mark or, despite my good intentions, falling short. Only she knows if I am making her happy, and the only way for me to measure my efforts is by asking her.
We start this episode talking about coffee and some other odds and ends, and then I put her on the spot. I asked her to talk about five that I do that make her happy, or that would make her more pleased if I changed how I do them.
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